


Viva Alternia

by grovicisms



Category: Homestuck, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Collaboration, Crossover, Gen, Trekstuck Crossover
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-02
Updated: 2013-11-02
Packaged: 2017-12-31 07:21:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1028862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grovicisms/pseuds/grovicisms
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Picture this: a crew of space explorers meeting a new species of alien.</p><p>Enter imminent danger and absolute chaos.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Viva Alternia

**Author's Note:**

> Apparently, nonsense role-playing can really freaking quickly turn into a massive collaboration-type thing.
> 
> Who knew?
> 
> My friend (sapphirianna.tumblr.com) and I (bourbon--blood.tumblr.com) wanted to write a thing, so we're writing a thing. A Trekstuck thing.
> 
> It's awesome.
> 
> She's taking care of the Homestuck and I'm dealing with the Star Trek. (So, cue a clumsy Karkat and a really sassy Bones).
> 
> Also, we apologise for the extremely long first chapter. We'll try not to do that again.

It was an especially cold night. Alternia often absorbed the deadly heat from the sun and kept it overnight, but that night, there was just an absence of the almost comfortable warmth seeping from the ground. Karkat stood outside his hive door, one hand placed on the frame, watching the strange silhouettes lazily drift across the sky, blanketing the two moons in a dark haze and obscuring the stars beyond. He brushed his fingers through the tangles of ebony hair with a sigh, turning back to his hive.

His husktop was blinking. Trollian had popped up with a new notification. Probably Sollux with a new virus he wanted to test out or something outrageously stupid like that. The odd haze would have to wait. Karkat gingerly shut the door behind him and shoved his hands into his pockets. He plopped himself down next to his husktop. His earlier hunch had been correct. Sollux was trolling him. What could the idiot want?

 

**TROLLIAN LOG:**

\-- **twinArmageddons**  started trolling -- **carcinoGenecist**  at 02:45

02:45 - **tA** : hey kk

02:48 - **tA** : fuck come on. ii can’t be waiiting all niight.

02:49 - **tA** : thii2 ii2 actually pretty iimportant.

02:54 - **cG** : OKAY WHATEVER FUCKING IDIOT PLOT DID YOU COME UP WITH THIS TIME, NOOKSNIFFER? DID YOU DECIDE TO TAKE OUT MY HOUSE TOO WITH YOUR *OH-SO-BRILLIANT* GODDAMN VIRUSES? I HAVE A BRAND NEW HUSKTOP FRESH OUT OF THE PACKAGING, ALL SHINY AND READY TO EXPLODE. AGAIN.

02:54 - **tA** : forget the viiru2e2. there2 2omethiing weiird goiing on out2iide.

02:54 - **tA** : the ground ii2 colder than normal and iit2 really dark out there.

02:55 - **cG** : WOW GENIUS, THE WILDLY DEADLY SUN HAS GONE DOWN AND THE GROUND IS GETTING COLDER AGAIN. LET ME GO TO MY WINDOW AND STARE AT THE ROCKS. ANYTHING ELSE SO PAINFULLY OBVIOUS THAT I WANT TO THROW MYSELF OFF A FUCKING CLIFF, CAPTAIN BONE BULGE?

02:56 - **tA** : wow kk.

02:56 - **tA** : iit2 not liike there2 2ome my2teriiou2 haze coveriing the 2ky.

02:56 - **tA** : nothiing 2eriiou2 of cour2e.

02:56 - **tA** : fuck kk, there2 2eriiou2ly 2omethiing two be concerned about out there.

02:57 - **tA** : have you ever 2een a haze liike that?

02:58 - **tA** : kk?

02:58 - **tA** : youre beiing really quiiet for once.

02:59 - **tA** : kk?

02:59 - **tA** : oh fuck iit. iif youre goiing to be 2tubborn there2 no poiint iin talkiing two you. ii have my own problem2 two deal wiith.

03:00 - **tA** : later kk.

\-- **twinArmageddons**  stopped trolling -- **carcinoGenecist** at 03:00

 

Karkat leaned back. He tapped his fingers on the keyboard, light enough not to type anything. The relentless drumming allowed him to sit and think. While Sollux was often a pain in the rear, he was a friend worth listening to. A haze across the Alternian sky was actually something to be at least curious about. It didn’t happen often, if at all.

* * *

For once in his life, McCoy was actually spending a quiet day aboard the tin can Starfleet idolised. The Enterprise was flying past stars and galaxies that McCoy forgot the name of, and there was nothing as of yet that called for immediate attention. Diplomatic relations were established with the lifeforms of...what was it again? Tarsus II? Something like that. (Not Tarsus IV. Tarsus IV was on McCoy's things-we-never-talk-about list).

He felt at ease—or, as at ease as he could be whilst in the prescence of disease and danger twenty-four seven. And that was another thing. He couldn't tell what time of day it was unless he asked the computer for the time. His sleep schedule was all out of whack (though he can blame late-night shifts and general neglect for his health) and when he did get sleep, it was always restless and disturbed by nightmares.

 He was tipping back his flask of synthesised bourbon when his PADD chimed.

 

[ PADD Message ] **KIRK, James T.** >> **MCCOY, Leonard H.** \-- BOOONES

[ PADD Message ] **KIRK, James T**.  >> **MCCOY, Leonard H.** \-- What's up?

[ PADD Message ] **KIRK, James T**.  >> **MCCOY, Leonard H.** \-- Can you come to my quarter's?

 

There was a huff as he typed out a response.

 

[ PADD Message ] **MCCOY, Leonard H.** >> **KIRK, James T.** \-- What why?     

[ PADD Message ] **MCCOY, Leonard H.** >> **KIRK, James T.** \-- What's wrong?

[ PADD Message ] **MCCOY, Leonard H.** >> **KIRK, James T.** \-- Did you break something again?

 

[ PADD Message ] **KIRK, James T.** >> **MCCOY, Leonard H.** \-- No of course not.

[ PADD Message ] **KIRK, James T.** >> **MCCOY, Leonard H.** \-- I just want to see my best friend.

[ PADD Message ] **KIRK, James T.** >> **MCCOY, Leonard H.** \-- And I need to talk to you.

 

[ PADD Message ] **MCCOY, Leonard H.** >> **KIRK, James T.** \-- Alright alright.

[ PADD Message ] **MCCOY, Leonard H.** >> **KIRK, James T.** \-- I'll be there in five.

  
McCoy tossed the PADD aside and marched out of his quarter's. He'd purposely take his time, but his bullshit detector wasn't going off. Something was up, and they were in the center of it. _Again._

* * *

 Karkat stood up, stretching with his arms above his head. He didn't want to deal with Sollux and his cryptic (if it could be called that) sarcasm. Not like he had a right to criticize his best friend's vocabulary. If anything, his was worse by leaps and bounds.

He gently pushed his husktop closed for the first time in half a sweep. Karkat's dark orange (almost black) irises darted to a window nearby. Was it just a trick of the light, or had the mysterious haze thickened since he had last checked?

Either way, the young troll was hungry and beginning to become irritated. If only his ENCRYPTION FETCH MODUS wasn't so damn heavy and hard to crack, then he would retrieve the snack he had captchalogued only hours ago. Unsurprisingly, the ENCRYPTION MODUS was already a floor below. Just another hole needing repair.

Karkat shuffled to the kitchen, muttering colorful comments along the way. He hissed in pain as his foot collided with a stray piece of rubble from the previous mishap with his modus. He really should swap that thing with something that was less of a pain to handle.

"FUCK!" Another toe decided to try and bulldoze another rock. As he hopped around the rest of the scattered debris, he huffed an exasperated sigh.

 He felt like it was going to be a long night.

* * *

"Bones!" Jim's face lit up as the doctor entered the room. "For a second there, I didn't think you'd actually show up." Actually, he did. He just didn't think he would show up that quickly. "We have a problem."

McCoy wasn't prepared for good news; no use in getting his hopes up. "What kind of problem?" His arms were crossed and he leaned against the doorframe. A better question to ask would've been _dammit Jim what did you do?_

Judging by the sudden drop in Jim's mood, it must've been pretty bad. He gestured for McCoy to come in, though really, the invitation went unspoken.

Jim began to speak as the door slid shut. "Spock detected some sort of anomaly. Says it's just like that lightning storm a few years ago."

McCoy's full attention was focused on Jim at the words 'lightning storm'. "Well--no. You're bullshitting me."

"Like hell I am, Bones." Jim's hands were clenched at his side. McCoy could see the emotions, the hatred and fear in his eyes and he knew the severity of the situation. Jim may have done stupid things in the past, but that didn't make him _stupid._

As much as he hated it, McCoy accepted the news with a reluctant nod. "What is it exactly? I mean, we're not dealing with another black hole, are we? The last thing this ship needs is another angry Romulan changing our reality."

Jim was silent, and that in itself was terrifying. He was either angry, or being childish when he was quiet; the latter was irrelevant in this case. "Bones..." His voice was barely above a whisper, and McCoy shuddered, more because of the look Jim was giving him; he was terrified. "It's a hole in the middle of space."

* * *

 A faint _shhhhhhaaaaaa_ from outside the hive caught Karkat's attention. Taking a glance out of the nearest window, he froze. A sheet of clear liquid was falling from the sky. Dumbfounded for a moment, Karkat's jaw went slack.

_The sky was crying._

So it seemed to him, at least. Of all the oddities he had seen so far tonight, that one certainly took the metaphorical cake. Rain on Alternia wasn’t really a thing that happened.

Karkat felt a sudden chill settle in his spine.

“WHAT THE FUCK?” he exclaimed with a shiver. He tried to brush the unsettling feeling away as another phantom of his own paranoia, but it stubbornly dug its way into his heart, forcing it to palpitate faster. Something was wrong. Something was very wrong. There seemed to be a shift in the universe or something of the sort that set the young troll on edge-- more on edge than he thought possible. The night had become void of any light except for the lamps hung around the hive, illuminating the cascading droplets in an eerie yellow.

And the sky still wept.

* * *

"It's just a hole? You mean like a black hole?"

"Not really." The conversation was moved into Jim's ready room. McCoy was pacing, trying to grasp what Jim was explaining to him. "It's not emitting any type of radiation—hell, it's not emitting _anything_. Radio frequencies, energy. There's nothing. It's just a hole."

McCoy remained silent. In all his time in space, this was by far the weirdest. There couldn't just be a hole in empty space. At least, he thought so. All this 'hole in the universe' crap was making him question his sanity, something he frequented a lot. "Okay," he finally spoke up. "What's our plan of action?"

Knowing Jim, he already knew what his intent was. Still, he held out a little hope that Jim wasn't going to take that risk.

Jim's response was pressing the comm button, muttering a, "Kirk to bridge" under his breath.

Spock's voice rang clear over the comm.

_"Spock here, captain."_

"Tell Mr. Sulu to take us in. Slow as she goes."

_Understood. Have you made doctor McCoy aware of our current situation?"_

Jim spared a glance at McCoy. "He's been briefed."

_"Affirmative. Spock out."_

The call was ended and the engines hummed a little louder as Sulu navigated the ship into certain danger. The pair of them shared a look; mastering silent communication took a year between the two of them. McCoy could see the apology without having to hear it. He followed Jim to the bridge silently; he had a feeling he would need to mentally prepare himself for what he's as about to see.

Space was disease and danger wrapped in darkness and silence, after all.

* * *

Momentarily forgetting his hunger, Karkat bolted back into his respiteblock. Flipping the husktop open once more, he tapped his yellow nails impatiently as it rebooted from being shut down. Once the screen greeted him with a bright glow, he connected to Trollian.

 

**TROLLIAN LOG:**

\-- **carcinoGenecist** started trolling -- **twinArmageddons** at 03:24

03:24 - **cG** : FUCK, YOU WERE RIGHT.

03:24 - **cG** : THE SKY IS CURRENTLY POURING CLEAR LIQUID AND I THINK I CAN HEAR SOME STRANGE NOISES.

03:25 - **cG** : SOLLUX ARE YOU EVEN THERE? I'M FINALLY ADMITTING THAT YOU'RE RIGHT FOR ONCE, DAMNIT.

03:25 - **cG** : THE SKY IS CRYING GODDAMNIT. ANSWER ME, YOU INCONSIDERATE SHIT STAIN.

03:26 - **cG** : OH VERY FUNNY. IGNORING ME LIKE I IGNORED YOU. MY AIR PUSHERS ARE HEAVING WITH MERRIMENT.

03:27 - **tA** : laughiing 2uddenly with no priior promptiing?

03:27 - **cG** : WHAT, CAN'T A TROLL START LAUGHING WITHOUT NEEDING *PRIIOR PROMPTIING*? IT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING BEYOND SARCASM YOU FUCKNUGGET, OR IS YOUR THINKPAN SO THICK YOU CAN'T THINK?

03:27 - **tA** : no that ju2t mean2 that youre iin2ane.

03:28 - **cG** : CHARMING. I'M SURE. CAN YOU TUNE YOUR BIPOLAR THINKPAN TO THE CONVERSATION TOPIC AT HAND?

03:29 - **tA** : okay. fiine. the 2ky ii2 cryiing?

03:30 - **cG** : YES, AND IT'S WEIRD AND COMPLETELY UNNERVING. IS IT OCCURRING OVER AT YOUR PLACE TOO?

03:32 - **tA** : no. not yet, at lea2t.

03:32 - **tA** : are you 2ure you havent lo2t iit yet?

03:33 - **cG** : I DON'T HAVE THE TIME FOR YOUR COPIOUS AMOUNT OF BULLSHIT.

03:33 - **tA** : iit ii2 dark out, but no tear2. kk ii thiink iit'2 been two long 2iince you last 2lept. you need 2leep. and that'2 2ayiing 2omethiing comiing from me.

03:34 - **cG** : THAT'S OUTRAGEOUS. OH, AND FUCK YOU, I'M NOT INSANE.

\-- **carcinoGenecist** stopped trolling -- **twinArmageddons** at 03:34

* * *

The bridge was silent except for the occasional ping from the various stations. Tensions were running high; the gaping hole in the vacuum of space was growing larger as the ship crept through space. They had t-minus thirty seconds until they were seemingly swallowed by the hole.

McCoy was standing at Jim's side, hand clasped behind his back. He was watching the viewscreen intently and he deserved an award for that. He could get a medal saying _I Watched As the Ship Was Eaten By A Giant Hole in the Middle of Space Without Throwing Up_. He'd wear it proudly.

Twenty seconds and counting.

"What do you think's on the other side, Bones?"

McCoy glanced at Jim; his arms were at his sides from where he stood beside his Chief Medical Officer. Jim's stoic expression made him harder to read. "Assuming there _is_ another side?" McCoy turned his attention to the viewscreen again. "I have no idea."

The ship lurched and shuddered as it was finally consumed by the void. McCoy grabbed Jim's arm and Jim in return grabbed his; while his aviophobia was significantly less severe, it wasn't entirely gone.

"Warp three, Mr. Sulu."

On command, the ship's humming grew steadily louder and McCoy's body lurched backwards a bit at the sudden increase in speed. Damn starships. "Is it too late to turn around?"

* * *

Karkat sat back with a huff and a displeased growl. His thin grey lips drawn tight in a frown, he tapped his fingernails against the desk once more. Something was wrong in the universe. Something was off, and for some unknown reason—one he couldn't quite place—the unnerving chill wouldn't leave his spine.

A bright violet flash illuminated the room for a moment. Just then, a demonic rumble rolled over the hive. Karkat jumped, toppling over and taking an empty cup with him on his rather undignified descent to the floor. The back of his head knocked against the floor with a painful _CONK!_

"H-HOLY SHIT!" He sputtered as he clamored back into his chair, his hair standing on end from the unexpected sound. He rubbed at the back of his skull, grimacing as it throbbed.

“The fuck was that?”

* * *

McCoy lost track of how long they were floating there in complete darkness without so much as a star shining in through the viewscreen. It couldn't have been long, but it felt like hours nonetheless. The reserve power kicked in, the bridge illuminated in a dim murky light. McCoy was rooted to the spot, stunned by the violent shaking and lurching of the ship. From somewhere behind him, he could hear Scotty's voice coming frantically through the comm, giving Jim a full report of just what the hell was going on.

The ship shook again, sending McCoy flying to the railing. He latched on to it; mutters of "goddamn space" were the only thing he could hear. _Goddamn aviophobia._

Everything else was just white noise; he didn't even register the person shaking him, trying to get him to come out of his daze.

"Bones! Hey—" Jim's voice only just registered with him. "—Bones, Bones man. You with me?"

When he came back to himself, the ship wasn't shaking and the lights were significantly brighter. "Jim, what—"

"You had a panic attack, Bones. The power was cut and there was a bit of turbulence and you flipped."

_Oh. Well, shit._

"You scared the shit outta me, Bones."

_Sorry._

"C'mon. Spock gathered a landing party and they're waiting for us in the transporter room."

McCoy nodded. "—...okay. Let's go."

Jim wanted to say something, from the way the question danced in his eyes, but he only nodded and led McCoy to the transporter room; they were promptly beamed down upon their arrival.

It was raining; McCoy was back to his usual grumbling and everything was relatively normal. A little gloomy, but normal all the same.

There was a dark, block-like structure not far from where they were beamed down. The windows vaguely reminded McCoy of a honeycomb, if they were windows at all.

"Let's go make friendly with the natives."

* * *

Karkat was a little worse for wear than he'd thought. The back of his head still throbbed and there was a ringing sound in his ear. Either way, it did no good for his sour mood.

"Fucking hell..." Bending over to collect the cup from the floor, he flinched as distant thunder rumbled. He was determined not to let himself drop his guard again. He didn't want to ram his head into the floor a second time. He muttered all sorts of unpleasantries as he rearranged his tosseled desk into some semblance of order.

He glanced over to the window, observing the clear liquid still descending from the sky. A glint caught his eye. It vanished for a second. No—it never vanished, the rain had just obscured it for a moment. Curious, the young troll stood, abandoning his desk. He approached the window, carefully avoiding the hole in the floor that had caused him pain earlier. Something was out there, and that something- no matter how curious- was just as unnatural as the rainfall. A sense of unease trickled down his spine, but the curious troll still peeked outside. He blinked.

A small band of troll-like creatures meandered through the yard. Karkat froze. He'd never seen such pale skin.

Something was definitely off.

* * *

_Let's go make friendly with the natives_ , he said. _What could go wrong_ , he said. If you asked McCoy, the list would _never end._

The landing party split up into two groups: two redshirts and Chekov were instructed to survey the surroundings while Jim, McCoy, and Spock were to investigate the strange building.

As soon as they set foot on that planet, McCoy's gut was telling him that something was wrong. Something was always wrong, what the hell was he thinking?

Movement caught his eye as they approached the house. So they were windows. Weird. A shadow darted across one of them; well, at least it was inhabited. Fan-fucking-tastic.

"Jim, I don't know about this. This place gives me the creeps."

"Oh, you gotta lighten up, Bones. Everything'll be just fine."

McCoy watched as Jim knocked on the door; it was an oddly human action for such an inhuman planet. Kind of ironic, too. "Jim, are you sure—"

"Relax, doc. I know what I'm doing."

* * *

At first, Karkat wasn't sure what to think. Okay, there were two groups of light skinned creatures and one particular band was approaching the hive at an alarming pace. For a moment he was frightened that his lusus was still out at the moment. He would have to deal with the intruders himself. He had two options- 1: panic and cause a major ruckus and attract the creatures upstairs right away, or 2: hide somewhere and jump them when they entered. What? There was no way he could tell if these creatures were hostile or not. Or maybe he was just wanting to hide.

Karkat swiped his handheld device from his desk, promptly searching for Sollux's Trollian tag in a flurry of buttons. The sharp report of someone knocking at the door seemed too loud to be coming from the downstairs entrance. A bead of tinted sweat rolled down his neck. He didn't like the looks of the situation one bit. _Come on, come on..._

He heard the front door squeak open downstairs. _Fuck, the door's unlocked_. The handheld device clattered to the floor. Eyes scanning the room for any sort of escape, Karkat opted for the space between his Recuperacoon and the wall. There weren't many places in his respiteblock for hiding—he hadn't expected a need to—so it would have to do. It was a good thing he had equipped his sickle into his strife modus earlier. There seemed to be a need for it rising quickly. He slid his body behind the purple behemoth of a Recuperacoon in hopes he'd be able to outmaneuver the enemy. He growled something in Alternian when his throbbing head smacked against the wall. _Fuck, that hurt._ He must have bruised pretty badly. Voices drifted from below. _Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._

* * *

McCoy was scowling up at the building. "Jim, you can't just _break in_ to someone's house. _Especially_ if we're on a _foreign planet_."

Jim merely tuned out the doctor's nagging, which angered McCoy even more; he was already used to it by now, but it still pissed him off.

The door opened with little effort. The expression on Jim's face was smug; McCoy was completely exasperated at this point. "It's not breaking in if the door's already unlocked."

"Captain, I'd advise you use caution. My readings suggest that—"

" _Please_ , Spock. When have I ever not been careful?"

He received a glare from both McCoy and Spock; ah, just another day at the office.

Pulling out his phaser, Jim shouldered his way inside. He motioned for Spock to scope out the downstairs with him, while he sent McCoy upstairs. (Much to the doctor's dismay).

Unfortunately for him, the entire house was a fucking maze. He would probably need to have someone come find him if he kept this up. His tricorder readings showed that one lifeform currently resided in the household, and it was on his floor. Just _peachy_.

"Leave it to Jim to send me to find the alien. I'm a doctor, not a diplomat."

There was a _thump_ to his left and he jumped; the goddamn thing was in the next room. "Well—here goes nothing."

Usually he left Jim and Spock to deal with the aliens, unless it was strictly for medical reasons. In which case, he'd forbid Jim and Spock from saying or doing a goddamn thing until the situation was resolved. Or until he was about to meet his doom and had to be rescued by Jim and the damn hobgoblin. (Who seemed very smug the last time it happened).

The door was unlocked. He pushed it open carefully, though it still squeaked despite the extra care he took in opening it. "Hello?" Yeah, great. Real fucking nice, McCoy. Hello? Is that really the best you can come up with? "I'm not gonna hurt you, you know. I'm a doctor." Can you tell he's out of practice? "Just come on out. I don't have all day."

* * *

_Shit. Shitshitshitshitshit. Abort! Abort! Abscond, Karkat, abscond the fuck out of there_. Karkat froze as the man’s voice suddenly filled the room. He tilted his head so he could peek around the Recuperacoon. There was no doubting it, there was one of the pale skinned creatures standing in his respiteblock, looking uncomfortable at best. Karkat tried to scoot further into his little nook, but whacked his head- yes, once again like the clumsy little fuck he was- against the wall, drawing a hiss of pain from him accompanied by a loud “GODDAMNIT”. _Fuck._ Just wonderful. Why not invite him over to tea too? It could be a fucking party.

He rubbed the back of his head, muttering in Alternian. Finally pulling himself out of his hiding spot, he faced the man with a growl. With on hand behind his head, gingerly nursing the wound he had inflicted on himself, and the other tightly gripping his sickle, he hissed, “Don’t you think it’s a bit _rude_ to break into someone’s private respiteblock? What do you think this place is, a fucking zoo?”

He pulled away his hand and, to his utmost dismay—almost horror—, discovered a very warm, sticky liquid coating his fingertips. “Fuck.” He quickly wiped them on his gray pants. How embarrassing.

—

Wow, what a _warm_ welcome. It almost made him feel all _warm_ and _fuzzy_   inside. He almost started laughing when he saw how small the creature was; it was even funnier seeing him bearing the sickle. "You'll have to _excuse_ me." Though it really wasn't his fault. "You can blame my dear captain. I told him not to go snooping around someone's—" McCoy cut himself off upon seeing the blood, immediately jumping into doctor mode, as Jim so delightfully called it. "What'd you do there?"

He knelt down so he was eye-level with him. "I can fix it, you know." While he wasn't one for diplomatic relations, he wasn't an idiot. The last thing he wanted was to scare him and risk injury because, really, McCoy was pretty sure—despite the creature's size—he could do some serious damage when provoked. "I may be a stranger, but that doesn't mean I'm bent on total annihilation." Heh, that was a good one. He'll have to add that to his _Leonard McCoy's Guide to Making Peace With Aliens._

_—_

Karkat took a small step back, unnerved by the man's sudden approach. He bared his sharp teeth, but the man didn't back down. "I'm fine," he growled, despite his bleeding head. He looked the man over, searching for any signs of hostility, or more importantly, a weapon.

"I'm not bleeding." A lie. It was impossible that the stranger hadn't seen the candy red liquid sticking to his gray fingers. But if anyone got word of his completely off-hemospectrum blood color, he'd be as good as dead. If he was honest, he'd say he was utterly terrified. But he didn't want the stranger to notice. Everything seemed to spell disaster. At that moment, Karkat wanted nothing but to escape.

—

He should've expected that he would attempt retaliation, and he really needed to stop caling him 'he' or 'that alien'. It was irritating. "You're not _fine_. I can see that." But, McCoy didn't make another advance on him. Instead, he stood back up and took a step back, his hands raised in an I surrender position. "I told you. I'm not gonna hurt you. My name's Leonard McCoy. I'm the Chief Medical Officer aboard the USS _Enterprise_." He held out one arm, pointing to the silver bands on the cuff of the sleeve. "See? Lieutenant Commander McCoy. I'm certified. Now—" McCoy pointed to the object in his hand. "See this? It's called a dermal regenerator. I use it to heal lacerations or even little things like bruises. It's completely painless."

His hands were still in the air as he spoke; he wasn't taking any chances. "Now, don't you think it's a little rude not to introduce yourself?"

Karkat watched McCoy stand and take a step back. The tense muscles in the young troll's shoulders eased, and he dropped his sickle to his side. Still suspicious, he didn't move.

"Karkat Vantas," he said, eyeing the man warily. "I'm fine. I don't need your help."

McCoy couldn't help but roll his eyes. "Look, _Karkat_. I've dealt with a giant, reckless man-child of a captain for almost five years. I know a liar when I see one."

He took a step forward, arms dropped to his sides. "He's also stubborn, too. And from what I can tell, so are you. But trust me when I say that the sooner I fix you, the sooner you'll feel better." He felt kind of ridiculous chiding an alien, but he didn't want to use force.

Karkat slid back a step, annoyed that his bluff had been called—though he had already known that there was no mistaking the fact that he was bleeding. He could feel his hair beginning to mat at the back of his head. He growled inwardly. He must’ve hit it harder than he thought. Then again, he did smack it three times in the space of five minutes. The man stepped forward.

“Don’t fucking touch me, you piece of shitsponge.” He said hastily. His eyes darted everywhere, searching for a place to escape, as he backed up against the wall. _Fuck._ He wasn’t sure if he could outrun this McCoy person, but hell, he wasn’t going to just stand there. He was nervous as a goddamn hoofbeast. Just another thing to toss onto the pile of embarrassing things that’ve happened in the past hour.

—

This would be harder than he imagined. He was stupid for thinkng it would be easy in the first place. But he was beginning to lose his patience; he was used to stubbornness, thanks to Jim, but he really needed to take a look at that head wound before it got any worse. "Unless you want to bleed out, I suggest you let me take a look."

He could hear footsteps just outside the door. "Shit." Apparently, Jim and Spock were looking for him. How thoughtful. But _terribly_ ill-timed. If Karkat was this close to running now, he'd surely bolt for the door when he heard them.

Karkat stiffened, ears pricking at the sound. There was a moment of hesitation in the man. An opportunity. And fuck him if he wasn't going to take it.

Karkat wasted no time in ducking away, bolting for the door. He tripped over his feet in his frantic scrambling, but regained his balance quickly enough to avoid smacking his face against the door. Yanking on the door, he could hear McCoy swearing behind him. At the last moment, Karkat turned and gave the man a half smirk before dashing out into the hallway.

* * *

"God _damnit_!"

He knew it, he knew it, he _so fucking knew it god **damn** it all_. The smug little bastard was already around the corner as he hurried down the hall. McCoy pushed past Jim and Spock, ignoring Jim's questions in favour of chasing Karkat. "Get your sorry grey ass back here!"

In his haste, McCoy had pushed Jim into a wall, knocking the breath out of him. Dazed, Jim watched as McCoy hauled ass after a little grey alien thing. "What the hell—Bones! Don't hurt the natives!"

"Given his profession, it is highly unlikely that Doctor McCoy is pursuing the creature with intentions of inflicting bodily harm."

McCoy would have been proud at the glare Jim gave Spock.

* * *

Karkat slid around a corner. The hive was basically a giant maze. If he kept running, maybe the man would get lost and leave him alone.

"Goddamnit," he spat as he felt the back of his head. Bright red coated his fingers. It would've been wise to let the strange creature heal him, like he said he could, but it was more of a matter of pride. There was no way on Alternia that Karkat would allow such a thing, especially since he didn't exactly know the intentions anyways.

He tripped over a piece of rubble on the floor and cursed loudly. He crashed to the floor. "FUCKING HELL!"

* * *

If he was being honest, McCoy would admit that he almost got lost chasing the damn kid (was he even a kid?) around the house. When he saw Karkat sprawled out on the floor—after resisting the urge to laugh his ass off—he immediately grabbed him by his collar and hoisted him up off he ground. "This isn't going to be a problem, is it?"

McCoy smirked. He could hear the footsteps of Jim and Spock behind him. "Hey, uh, Spock? I need a favour."

Karkat squirmed, thrashing about. Unfortunately for him, his arms were just short enough for McCoy to be just out of reach. His sickle had clattered to the floor in his struggle for freedom.

"LET ME GO, YOU INCONSIDERATE SHIT! GODDAMNIT! RELEASE ME BEFORE I TEAR YOU APART!"

"Spock!"

Said half-Vulcan came jogging around the corner with Jim at his heels. "Do your Vulcan voodoo thing on him. The, the nerve—the nerve pinch thing!"

The kid (he's just gonna stick with calling him 'kid' because that's what he's acting like) was flailing around and McCoy was bracing himself for a nice kick to the shins.

Spock gave Jim a look; that goddamn eyebrow was rising higher than was strictly necessary and it was a good thing McCoy wasn't looking his way at the time, being more focused on restraining Karkat than anything. "Spock, now!"

There was a nod from Jim, then—

—Well, McCoy was very smug about holding a limp, unconscious alien bastard by the shirt collar. " _Finally_."

The last thing Karkat felt was sharp sting before his vision went blurry and faded to black. _Fuck._ There was no telling what was going to happen now. He was in the clutches of one of the intruders and his head was still bleeding. Wonderful.

When McCoy went to set up a makeshift medbay, he had Spock carry around the kid for a bit. Said he "didn't want him bleeding on the floor." Jim smirked.

Jim had called Chekov and asked him to beam aboard the ship to retrieve anything that doctor McCoy asked for. The ensign gave Jim a full report on his discoveries, told him that the other two crewmembers were still investigating, and called Scotty to beam him aboard the _Enterprise._

Karkat was as good as new within ten minutes.

 "So—" Jim was looking rather fond of himself. "Care to introduce us to your friend here, doctor McCoy?"

McCoy hit him over the head and Jim laughed.


End file.
